" L "

woman warrior

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. not just in the mind. It's a soul hurt, a body hurt, a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain. I hate love.
-Neil Gaiman-

I believe I lost something,
Before I even got it.
It felt like mine
If only for a brief moment
It felt like mine
Maybe I wanted it to badly,
Maybe I showed to much of me"""
And not enough of me
Maybe my timing was all wrong
I know the timing was just SO wrong
I had it, or least I thought I did
I had right there in my heart.
In my heart I will always have it and keep it safe.
But it's not the same
It's not the same as touching it with my hand
or feeling it touch mine.
Maybe I will give it some time
it will come back and say
OK I am yours to keep as long as your heart desires
My heart desires forever..
Maybe if I look around I will find it again
Maybe I never really had it and I just fooled myself.
Into thinking that I did, because of the desires of my heart.
But for the short while I thought I had it,
I can say that I did and still do Love it.