Pagan~ that is my spirituality I know that there are love potions, protection potions, love spells, protection spells.. But their are no spells or potion to *POOF* make someone gone in a persons heart. This is what I am faced with right now, the one I love unconditionally and soulfully loves a man. A man who she was with seven years ago and he broke her heart. He is her "true love." I don't know what that is. About 2yrs ago we started talking every night, For the first time in my life of 52 yrs. I fell hard, in love with her. I thought she loved me too, she told me that she did, words I have never heard from another. Only a few months in she wrote me a email about this guy that was her soul mate, I came to a screeching halt within and stored the message away in my mind. I left and went to Mexico I was so heart broken, But I would never let her know that she had the power to break me.We have had struggles, we have had giant walls we had to climb over just to re-unite many times. So easily she cast me away, never to miss my voice on the phone, never to miss what I believed so much was love between us. I Continued the struggle on my own all the way back to her, with pain in my heart I refused to let her just slip away.
Damn I have tried so many times to conquer that long path into her heart, but something always gets in the way. I talk about fate, I talk about the Universe, I talk about the Goddess. I truly think that the force at times between us comes from them all. She hates that I use the word test because she thinks that is always what I am doing, testing her. It's beyond me, it's my life coming full circle. With her is where I need and want to be.
She told me a few days ago that she wanted him out of her heart, out of her mind and out of her life. She said' I want you to help me, make him go away.." I don't know how, can I really chase his memory away? If I could wouldn't it of happened by now? No one knows how deep this pain is in me, I am second to a man who doesn't want her, I am not a true love or even a love at all I don't think.
How can you go from I love you to I have always been in love with someone else, even when I wanted to think it might be you.
For fucks sake where do I go from here?
You talk to her, you find reality even if you don't want to see it. You talk to her and this time it is your turn to tell HER how YOU feel.
ReplyDeleteIf she loves you at all she will set him free if she doesn't than you need to move on. If I had only one wish it would be to have someone love me as deeply as you do.
There are always problems always it takes strength to get past them that is the test of love. All that you two have been through and you keep finding your way back, should tell someone something.
I don't believe this is anything that you can do, she has to either leave you for good or him.
I posted you a song on my YT page just for little ole you. The song tells a story about you, Foreigner go listen to it.
ReplyDeleteYou do what makes you happy, that's all you are going to do any way Ms. Scorpio! I know your strength, the answer will come.
I think you need to tell her how you feel and hold nothing back. Stop hurting over the past. Live for today. The past is gone, it can't hurt you anymore. You can only make the future what you want it to be, so do it. Take life by the reigns.
ReplyDeleteYou can't change her past. You can't let an old relationship get in the way because it's old, it's the past.
Strange how answers just pop in when you need them the most. I have dwelled on this part of my life since her and I last talked, I made an appointment for today to tell it all. Just throw everything I feel and think out to her and finally get my life clear.
ReplyDeleteI can no longer think about how far we have come, just where we are going if any where at all.
Thank you to who ever you are, including Aerial.