Wow, it's been a while since I have been here. The whole reason for this place was Therapy for myself, the good old fashion healing.. A wise woman once said... At the time, I at least thought she was. Holy crap has life for me again, flipped and did a big full circle! Noting that AGAIN I got stuck midway. I am just now free.
I found an old familiar friend called heartache, didn't miss it as much as it missed me cause it knocked me square on my ass when it seen me again. As if to say Oh how I've missed you!! *shaking head*
I worked hard, risked it all and helped a great amount of women find peace, satisfaction and the personal power of strength. They stand with me now, we are the toughest WOMEN on the mountain. Just try to topple us off and you will see the Amazon Warrior that flows within our veins. Just as Athena, the Greek goddess of wisdom, war, justice and skill.
I suffered 3 great losses in my life, but the one that brought me to my knees was the loss of a amazing friend. She opened my heart, she rescued my soul and during the tragic events of death in my family I lost her. I had to fly far away, away from the pain to regenerate myself. It's not as if I took a plane to a quiet secluded place to regroup. The lonely part of going to the fires to be engulfed.. to be reborn. I can only surrender to this process I have no choice or restraint in the matter.. I am on my way to pure hell and back... alone. I am fire or ice, I am no where in between.
I have slightly managed to reconnect with her, I know she is skeptical of me, shying away from what she thinks is another round of eventual pain and disappointment for her from me. I don't know how to explain to her that I care for her so much it hurts, really it fucking does. Things just seem to happen to me so unexpected that there are times I think the Goddess is laughing at me as she throws me face first into a brick wall, it takes that amount of force for me to realize I am not supposed to be going that direction. She has other intentions for me, jeez.. if I could only remember to walk around the wall the next time, and the next, and the next. I consider myself an intelligent woman, but there are times I really have to stop and wonder about my own self. I have decided to use caution for now on and STOP during moments that are so tramatic or confussing and wait long enough to look up into the sky and see who is looking down..
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